He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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