he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize