i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
