I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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