Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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