i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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