its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
