How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize