11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
More tranny stories later!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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