yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
