i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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