If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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