Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
