forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
