Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
