I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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