he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
