Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
