I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
farters have to be the big spoon...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Randomize
