what if every blade of grass was a penis?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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