Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
