Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
