i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
4 words: hood of his car
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
