I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
