Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize