Pants 0. Shit 1.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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