so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
