He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think your dad took our porno
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
