Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
