you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
