No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
