Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize