Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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