I think my vagina is haunted
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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