you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Drunk is a universal language darling
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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