so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
