Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
