remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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