Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
