she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
