you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
porn star boner night. come get it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
