Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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