taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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