I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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