I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
