Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
