She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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