i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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