Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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