I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
