Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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