Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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