Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
pray to the hookup gods
Sext me about skeletons
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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