Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
