Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
