my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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