he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
