No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
