We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
