its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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